Saturday, 18 November 2017

18th November 2017 - Of Ceremonial and Boards

Thought for the day:"I need to get into shape - if I was murdered today my chalk outline would be a circle"

Saturday and a busy time. Morning at Llanelli was the Ceremony of the Silver Trowel followed by the meeting of Giraldus Cambrensis - in the Royal and Select Masters. Which meant getting there early and making the tea, sorting the bar, setting the room up for both ceremonies, playing the organ, acting as Director of Ceremonies, serving the bar, washing up and being toast master....

Just another day really.

Meanwhile in other news, we recently dedicated an honours board in Aberaeron for the Allied Masonic Ceredigion Council... That will be me in the background holding the banner up... third Master of the Council.

Members of the Ceredigion Council with new board

Master Iwan Jenkins and District Grand Prefect Ron Slater
with W Bro David Harries 
Rain this evening - and a day clearing the house for the central heating tomorrow ...


Friday, 17 November 2017

17th November 2017 - Cards Against Trump's Wall

Thought for the day:"My body is a temple  - ancient and crumbling, probably cursed, and harbouring an unspeakable horror"

Seems Legit...

The dirty and sometimes downright offensive game Cards Against Humanity is back with another stunt, and this time they're taking aim at one of President Donald Trump's campaign promises.

The company announced its holiday promotion on Tuesday, called Cards Against Humanity Saves America. Essentially, the company purchased a plot of vacant land on the border of the United States and Mexico, making it extremely difficult for Trump to build his expensive border wall which the U.S. taxpayers will inevitably pay for.

"Donald Trump is a preposterous golem who is afraid of Mexicans. He is so afraid that he wants to build a $20 billion wall that everyone knows will accomplish nothing," the website reads. "So we’ve purchased a plot of vacant land on the border and retained a law firm specializing in eminent domain to make it as time-consuming and expensive as possible for the wall to get built."

Fork over $15 of your hard-earned cash to Cards, and they'll send you "six surprises" in the month of December, including an illustrated map of the land, a certificate of promise to fight the wall, and some new cards.

Given the nature of the game, the company has no problem being a bit brash, and because they are self-owned, and don't rely on big box stores to push their product, the company can get away with a bit more.

On its FAQ page for the new expansion, one question asks: I don't like that you're getting political. Why don't you just stick to card games?

Their answer? "Why don’t you stick to seeing how many Hot Wheels cars you can fit up your a**hole?"

Thursday, 16 November 2017

16th November 2017 - Shaka, when the walls fell

Thought for the day :"When you accidentally put too much alcohol into the mixer - and you have to tough it out 'cos your parents didn't raise a quitter"

Was thinking about language this morning..

But every so often there are references to the famous Star Trek episode that dealt with Picard's efforts to understand a race which had built its language upon a completely different basis. I have put it here as a resource for the future...

We do get a very quick peek at Dathon's log and its strange notation that appears to have graphs as well as glyphs. They look neat, but no amount of scrutiny will ever make them mean anything. Repeat viewings of “Darmok,” however, will give you a few key Tamarian phrases you can keep in your back pocket. Among them:
“Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra.” This most famous phrase (which appears on some hilarious T-shirts) means, basically, “working together.”
“Darmok and Jalad on the ocean.” Building on the last one, this is when two strangers, or foes, work together against a threat and succeed.
“The beast at Tanagra.” This is the foe that Darmok and Jalad fought, but has grown to represent any problem that needs to be solved. The lack of communication between Dathon and Picard is a “beast at Tanagra” of its own.
“Temba, his arms open.” This means “take or use this.” A gift.
“Temba, at rest.” When a gift has been rebuffed.
“Zinda, his face black, his eyes red.” Hearing this means bad news. Something one says when in great pain or very angry.
“Kiazi's children, their faces wet.” This also means pain, but also sadness or frustration. It may also mean “oh, leave me alone!”
“Shaka, when the walls fell.” Failure. I've decided to start saying this when anything doesn't go my way. Works just as well as “oy vey.”
“Mirab, with sails unfurled.” This means travel or departure.
“Uzani, his army with fists open.” A tactical move to lure your enemy closer by spreading out.
“Uzani, his army with fists closed.” A tactical move to close-in on an enemy after luring him in.
“The river Temarc, in winter.” Be quiet. Possibly based on “freeze,” as in “freeze your thoughts/mouth.”
“Sokath, his eyes open.” To translate this to TOS, this means “We Reach!”
I've left a few out. Frankly, I'm not sure I've nailed them all yet. However, my favorite one is “Picard and Dathon at El-Adrel.” It doesn't just mean two strangers come and make a connection. That's what “Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra” and “Darmok and Jalad on the ocean” mean. No, this one is something totally new. This one means “first contact.”

Wednesday, 15 November 2017

15th November 2017 - Hedy Lamarr - the Engineer

Thought for the day:"City Unsure Why The Sewer Smells"

(Real Newspaper Headlines)

Today (November 9th) marks the 103rd birthday of actress and inventor Hedy Lamarr -- the glamorous movie star from the black-and-white era of film who co-invented a device that helped make possible the development of GPS, Bluetooth, and Wi-Fi technology! 

Born in Austria in 1914, the mathematically talented Lamarr moved to the US in 1937 to start a Hollywood career. Throughout the 1930s and 1940s, she was considered one of cinema's leading ladies and made numerous films; however, her passion for engineering is far less known today. Her interest in inventing was such that she set up an engineering room in her house complete with a drafting table and wall of engineering reference books. With the outbreak of World War II, Lamarr wanted to apply her skills to helping the war effort and, motivated by reports of German U-boats sinking ships in the Atlantic, she began investigating ways to improve torpedo technology.

After Lamar met composer George Antheil, who had been experimenting with automated control of musical instruments, together they hit on the idea of "frequency hopping." At the time, radio-controlled torpedoes could easily be detected and jammed by broadcasting interference at the frequency of the control signal, thereby causing the torpedo to go off course. Frequency hopping essentially served to encrypt the control signal because it was impossible for a target to scan and jam all of the frequencies.

Lamarr and Antheil were granted a patent for their invention on August 11, 1942, but the US Navy wasn't interested in applying their groundbreaking technology until twenty years later when it was used on military ships during a blockade of Cuba in 1962. Lamarr and Antheil's frequency-hopping concept serves as a basis for the spread-spectrum communication technology used in GPS, Wi-Fi and Bluetooth devices. Unfortunately, Lamarr's part in its development has been largely overlooked and her efforts weren't recognized until 1997, when the Electronic Frontier Foundation gave her an award for her technological contributions. Hedy Lamarr passed away in 2000 at the age of 85 and, in 2014, she was as long last inducted into the National Inventors Hall of Fame for her invention of a "Secret Communication System" many years ago.

Hedy Lamarr is one of 50 remarkable women of science featured in the stunning illustrated biography, "Women in Science: 50 Fearless Pioneers," for ages 9 and up at

She is also one of the 52 trailblazing women profiled in the excellent book “Headstrong: 52 Women Who Changed Science – and The World," which is highly recommended for teens and adults alike at

For adult readers who would like to learn more about her fascinating story, check out "Beautiful: The Life of Hedy Lamarr " ( and "Hedy's Folly" (

For two wonderful picture books starring girls who love to invent and build -- both for ages 4 to 8 -- we highly recommend “The Most Magnificent Thing" ( and "Rosie Revere, Engineer" (

And, if you'd like to encourage your children's interest in engineering and invention, check out our blog post: "Building Her Dreams: 60 Building and Engineering Toys for Mighty Girls," at

I didn't know that ...

Tuesday, 14 November 2017

14th November 2017 - Busy Days

Thought for the day:"Is half a large intestine a semi colon?"

Thought it may be time for a hedgehog...

Going to go and brave the warehouse today in readiness for the big Central Heating burst next week, which I now note I shall be away for most of the second day and half the first - so I may not be the most popular person around ....

But the idea is to go and empty all the material boxes that are stored away in the Warehouse and use them to pack "stuf" that needs to be moved for the workmen. We may be gone for a while!!!

Ho Hum
Then off to pick up a bed for Scarlett and put the Bothy in for some welding and drop some car batteries off to friends who are trying to live "off grid"...

That and finish some accounts for tomorrow - "You do lead an interesting life Mr Beeblebrox!"

Cheers !

Monday, 13 November 2017

13th November 2017 - A Timely Word from the Barber-Surgeon

Thought for the day:"I started walking around without shoes and then it became a hobbit"

My friend Roger the Barber Surgeon has been at it again.
I enjoy his musing so today will repeat one of his...

I was propositioned twice on Friday night. Well, actually, it was early Saturday morning as I was waiting for my taxi in Cardiff. After a cracking United Services Mess dinner in the Angel, and a shandy or two back at the mess with the lads, there I was at around half one outside the castle when along came a group of sparkly under dressed young ladies sporting pink cowboy hats, pink fairy wings and the one at the front with a sash saying 'bride' and bedecked in 'L' plates. 

Five minutes of fun, banter, several suggestions from the girls, which at my age are offered more in charity I think, and a 'good luck for the big day' kiss (on the bride to be's cheek I hasten to add) off they wobbled with their next targets already in sight. I still wonder if those two poor coppers survived ! 

The next encounter wasn't so pleasant. Along came a middle aged fellow apparently sober. He asked me the time, whilst telling him I noticed that he was wearing a watch. He asked me what I was doing, I replied waiting for a taxi. All the time he was getting closer, he then offered me a lift home in his car which was around the corner. Now, call me suspicious but this all seemed rather dodgy. Firstly his actions were questionable to say the least but the fact that I'm a middle aged bloke with a growing Santa beard and an ever enlarging girth to match didn't seem to put him off. By now he was seriously invading my space and making other suggestions which I won't repeat here so the only recourse, as kindly diplomacy hadn't worked, was to give him what a few of my friends have referred to as 'the voice'. So with full projection, diction as sharp as Lyndon Davies' trouser creases I let him have it both barrels in the simplest way possible ' stand away from me now, go away'. He slimed off muttering something about me being homophobic ( that's good considering some of my dearest friends and colleagues are gay, and only the other month I had the honour of being the celebrant for the wedding blessing of Alice and Naomi). What an unpleasant bastard. 

Anyway last week I had an encounter with a time lord. Actually not a time lord but a lord of time. Oh yes, Leonard Cole, clock and watch repairer of Newport who is to be found in his cave of delights at the bottom of Stow Hill in Newport. Now, I've mentioned Mr Cole before, if memory serves. To give you an idea of his skills in horology it's said that when time itself was invented, back in the earliest of days, the great creator went to see Mr Cole for advice on which should come first, the tick or the tock. This is the man who can get time moving again, and this is what happened. 

My old pocket watch stopped working and felt as if it was overwound. Now this watch originally wasn't mine it was dads, and before it was dads it was grandfathers and before his it was great grandfathers, so I really like to keep the old chap in best working order (and as Mr Cole said a few years ago the best way to do that is to use it) I took it in and the conversation went thus:
" Bit of a problem with the watch Mr Cole"
" Oh right, well, I don't do pocket watches any more" This said as he took it off me.
" Too many things to go wrong you see" He opened the back.
" They're not economic to repair these days" He wiggled the smallest screwdriver in Christendom into the workings.
" And if bits are broken you can't get replacements" He dripped a drop oil from the tiniest oil can known to mankind and held it to a light bulb to burn the excess off.
" Too much of a hassle, there we are, good as new." 

Handing me back the now tick tocking timepiece. He'd bump started time itself, brilliant !
" Wow, how much do I owe you Mr Cole?"
" Stick something in the charity box".
And that's not the first time he's said that to me. 

So, if your clock needs tickling up or your watch has gone on strike, go and see Mr Cole. But don't bother if it's a pocket watch. He doesn't do pocket watches anymore.

I always enjopy his little missives ...

Cheers !!

Sunday, 12 November 2017

12th November 2017 - Hudl and Restoring Confidence

Thought for the day:"Saw a snail in the garden take off his shell - he was feeling a bit sluggish"

Today I played at being a computer expert again ... My mother's Tesco HUDL Tablet was freezing and the on line advice was to stop the apps, reboot, or reset to factory settings.
Since I had made a career out of switching computers off and on again to make them work this seemed like a plan..

Cleared the Cache - no effect. Same with disabling the apps - it was mainly Messenger that was freezing but removing it did not seem to help, and the hard reboot failed to make much difference...

So with a degree of trepidation I went for the factory reset - and simple it was!!!
Having noted her google gmail sign in - with no idea about the password - it let me back in and texted me an access code to my phone and then managed to download and update all of the applications.

Had a short worry when facebook seemed to be very slow - but no freezing and it loaded after a couple of attempts..  so it seems that I have my mother back on line again - which is a bonus....  It is lovely to see that a 90 year old can be linking with family via tablet technology ...

So - Good deed for the day done and I think we are all ahead ..

And since I was changing things today - I thought it was high time that i changed the logo on the Blog - from the  "Taking the reigns back" to "Welcome to my world - a daily Blog). After all - the blog was started to assist the buyers of the tavern - a place to put all the information that you forget to pass on to people until you think of it in the middle of the night - a source of information and a place to look for a checklist...  And then the sale went wrong - so it was a place to recover the controls of the business - and now - it is in other hands so it correctly needs to have a more simple title...

The original screen:

 The new one:

Glass of Chateau 41 this evening I think..

Saturday, 11 November 2017

11th October 2017 - Family Back together - Cheers!

Thought for the day:"17 Remain Dead In Morgue Shooting Spree"
(real Newspaper Headlines)

11th of the 11th and they decided to restart Big Ben (the bell not the clock)  so that it would ring for the 2 minute silence at remembrance today. Remembrance Sunday tomorrow.

But today was the Provincial Malta meeting across the road and I stuck my nose in to say hello before driving down to Bristol to pick Susie up. Plane a little late - fighting against strong headwinds - but only an hour late overall - though the short term parking still stung me £8 for an hour and ten minutes.

Dog very happy to have her back - and a salad for dinner and a glass of Chateau 41.

So - other than that - Cheers !

Friday, 10 November 2017

10th November 2017 - Just a thought

Thought for the day:"Planes Forced To Land At Airports"
(real Newspaper Headlines)

On this day...

Shed load of learning to do today - my own fault - been putting it off - and not helped by sitting here and writing this - so...


Just a thought

9th November 2017 - Of Thor and 4D abnd Vollsanger and Wind

Thought for the day:"Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much (Oscar Wilde)

Oops - lost the day today - so just a thought and a few piccies

Total emotion or wind - not sure

Vollsanger in his element

I don't like cinemas - but happily I have been saved from the need - I watched Thor Ragnarok in 4D
Enjoy ...


Wednesday, 8 November 2017

8th November 2017 - Of Central Heating and Ceremonial and Dismantling Jeeps

Thought for the day:"Midget Sues Grocer. Cites Belittling Remarks"
(Real Newspaper headlines)

A day surrounded by paperwork - and a determination not to put it off for another day - no honestly !!
There is one thing that Facebook has taught me - and that is (several hours later !!) time management!!

Royal Ark Mariners this evening - playing the Organ and there is a candidate so shall probably dine out tonight again - easier than cooking :)

Busy week - with Trevor Kelway Lodge installation tomorrow - also playing the organ, and Allied Masonic Installation, Ceremony of Knights of Constantinople, and dedication of an Honours Board. But as important I need to get the accounts completed by then as well as learning the lecture and acting as Senior Deacon for the ceremony as well as playing for the evening - should be busy and enjoyable though I will be driving once again.

It is a bright day with sunshine - though I can feel the cold coming through the window as I sit at the desk. Plumbers came yesterday to do an in depth assessment of the house but still think that they can do a full upgrade of the central heating for £5,000.
Over the last ten years I have always had a reluctance to let any plumber or gas technician see out boiler - as it has been there since we moved into the house in 1983, and by the looks of it was there for at least 25 years before if not longer. It has never been serviced in that time though we did have the emissions checked a few years ago and they seemed to be alright. But it is an old beast and we thought it was probably an industrial type boiler as it had to blast hot water through 3 floors.

When we took on the house - we changed the basement from storage to a bar and spare room - now a bar/bedroom and recording studio. At the same time we engaged a plumber to add two radiators to the basement and surprisingly at the moment they are both working fine. It takes the chill and damp away form the basement. But to do this they just added a sprig into the existing pipework leading to at least three other radiators failing to warm up. More lately, the bedroom radiator, which I have had to bleed with a pair of pliers for the last three years, has rusted so far that we get no heat at all from it - and therefore are unable to bleed the system properly. We do not mind a cook bedroom, but when the chill is really in the air it is best to get up and get dressed fairly quickly.

And so, the whole system has really ground to a halt. But when I opened the kitchen cupboard to show the boiler - the plumber gasped "Oh - and Old Concord!! Wonderful!" Apparently it should be in a museum but is apparently a really good boiler and ideal for the task it has done .. A search on line will not find my boiler - but Concord is still sold as a commercial boiler.

Nowadays they say that a boiler will probably last 10 - 12 years - which will suit us happily as we do not intend to be here that long. But our trusty old Concord Boiler has done at least 3 times that period and quite possibly 5 times that period...

But while I do the search on line I see that the prices of boilers varies greatly and for many of them - the price range I have been given could easily just cover the boiler itself. But it is meant to be guaranteed for 7 years and they have measured the house to check that they think that they can heat it - so as they say in medical terms - our life is in their hands..

Just looking forward to hearing when they can commence. Meanwhile - my feet are cold as I sit here - so may have to go and put some socks on!!

Talking of mechanical things and abilities - found this little gem today - how to take a jeep apart and put it back together in 4 minutes - thought I would share it here 

And so I leave you with this uplifting thought...

Tuesday, 7 November 2017

7th November 2017 - Hedgehogs and Webcasts

Thought for the day:"Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop - Find Weapons"
(real Newspaper Headlines)

Seems to be time for another hedgehog ...

For no real reason at all !

Allied Masonic This afternoon - I am installing my successor into the Chair in Llanelli.

Meanwhile the Webcast from the Tercentenary Celebration of Freemasonry in the Albert Hall has appeared upon the web...

Best to skip the first few minutes - starts at 27 minutes in and is an enjoyable watch - either for Freemason or for a stranger to the Craft - giving most of principles under which we work.


Monday, 6 November 2017

6th November 2017 - Just a Thought really

Thought for the day:"I tried cooking dinner with wine this evening - it didn't go so well - after two bottles I forgot why I was in the kitchen"

Got back from the South Coast - and Plumbers have come and looked at the house for a complete "upgrade" on the central heating... ...   Seems we are going to have a warm house by Christmas...

other than that - not much happening ...

quiet night with a glass in hand

and then you have "you only had one job"
Makes you think !!

Sunday, 5 November 2017

5th November 2017 - Remember Remember - ummm What was I trying to remember?

Thought for the day:"One careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start your bonfire?"

How Many People Does It Take To Light a Guy Fawkes Bonfire?

  • How many safety inspectors does it take to light the bonfire?
    4.  One to light the match and three to hold the fire extinguisher
  • How many civil servants does it take to set fire to Guy Fawkes?
    23.  One to strike the match and twenty two to fill in the paper work.
  • How many Mafia hitmen does it take to light the bonfire?
    3.  One to set fire to the effigy, one to watch his back, and one to shoot any witnesses.
  • How many aerospace engineers does it take to light the kindling sticks?
    0.  You don't need a rocket science to start a bonfire.
  • How many Apple employees does it take to flame Guy Fawkes?
    5.  One to light the match and four to design the t-shirt.
  • How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the bonfire?
    0.  Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.
  • How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire?
    Both of them.
  • How many fish does it take to set the Guy Fawkes bonfire burning?
Off to the South Coast ...
Cheers !

Saturday, 4 November 2017

4th November 2017 - The Terrors of Fireworks for a Dog

Thought for the day:"Marijuana Issue Sent To A Joint Committee"
(Real News Headlines)

Provincial Meeting at Diss in Norfolk and getting to know some of my colleagues now.
Susie managed to get her flight out to Crete from Luton - an hour late but only 20 people on the plane so plenty of room to stretch the legs.

I am currently sitting on a dog - 'Thena is trying to crawl into any corner and dig it up despite the fact that the fireworks have not started yet !!.  She normally tried to crouch under the machine  by your legs - but in this case she is trying to crawl inside the computer which would not do it any good at all!

Got a bit of a shock. Got home to find an ecstatic Ziggy bounding all over the kitchen and no Thena. They had been shut in the Kitchen but obviously given the run of the garden - so no sign of her anywhere... Got changed ready to trawl the streets when a knock came from next door - where Thena had been for most of the afternoon apparently so they had shut her in their garage  - Ziggy had been next door as well apparently but had obviously managed to get herself home in the meantime - but gave me a few minutes of concern....

So we are all here in Aylesbury now - Ziggy and Thena and myself. Nancy Working. Stuart at the Wolves Banquet. Kiddies at the other grand parents - and me with the dogs....

Off to the South Coast tomorrow...   
then back home for the week ...

And so onto the "you only had one job" section.... 
Well - it is correct !!

Friday, 3 November 2017

3rd November 2017 - Of Grand Court

Thought for the day:"Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops of significantly after the age of 20"
(real news headlines)

And some pictures from the Grand Court of the Masonic Order of ATHELSTAN

With the Provincial Grand Secretary 

With the Grand Master

And the Assistant Grand Master

and the Provincial Grand Master
and the Provincial Pages..

So - Susie off to Crete tomorrow - a week has gone quickly here in Aylesbury - and I shall be off to Diss in Norfolk for the Provincial Meeting..

You had one job....

Thursday, 2 November 2017

2nd November 2017 - Thriller !!

Thought for the day:"
There was a young man 
From Cork who got limericks
And haikus confused"

As we leave Halloween for another year here we have the Post Modern Juke Box...
Thriller -

You had one job!!

Wednesday, 1 November 2017

1st November 2017 - Of Brooms, Burglars and White Rabbits

Thought for the day:"I had a happy childhood. My dad would put me inside a tyre and roll me down a hill. They were Goodyears."

So the American influence once more creeps into the British Society as I found myself last night dressed up as a zombie - wondering the streets of Aylesbury with about 20 children in various states of costume and dress begging around the houses....

Meanwhile Susie was back at the house with a purple Witch Mask on her face ready to pounce out on those who dared to call at the door and yell!!   bringing at last two young children to tears to the delight of their parents...  Oh yes - the parents are fully involved which is a good thing it seems to me - as though the streets in the area are quiet - a gaggle of kids streaming across road in the dark is a good recipe for disaster... 

So accompanied by a Clown, a young Dracula and a Victorian Lady and her butler we would our way around the streets. The trick is to look for the pumpkins outside the door - especially the ones that are lit. This is the universal signal that the resident is happy to have someone knock on the door. This is a vast improvement upon the Early Morning calls we used to get on New Year's day in Wales where the children came around to sing carols - which was no good if you had not found your bed until 6am !!!
No, like Gandalf scratching upon a Hobbit hole saying "Burglar lives here" or the thieves and vagabonds of old scraping their symbols on gates to show which houses had rich pickings - the pumpkin is now a ticket to get sweets ....  And so the sugar rush continues...

Devon Police recently identified many of the signs used by burglars..

But of course the high point of this form of message was the depression in the US

During the Great Depression in the U.S. itinerants who travelled state-to-state on the railroad looking for work and living rough - called 'hobos' - would use symbols to direct, help and warn their brethren.
Symbols from the 'Hobo code' would be scrawled with chalk or coal on houses, posts, gates, bridges, railroad yards and other places.

As well as helpful advice like 'housewife feeds for chores' and 'can sleep in barn', there are warnings such as 'man with a gun' and 'dishonest man'.

Hobos needed all the help they could get as they faced a hard and dangerous life as they rode the railways.
In addition to the problems of being looked down on, poor, far from home and frequently sleeping rough, they also had to face the railroads' security staff, nicknamed 'bulls', who were often quick to use violence against trespassers.

But back to Aylesbury and the witch at the door ....
Couldn't find the broomstick that cam with the witch and the batteries were rusted through ... but signs of the time - I found a broom for her

And - luckily after about an hour and a half, the youngest is getting tired, the Butler has to go home and the Victorian Lady is getting cold so we manage to make our way back home.... 
But even Google enjoyed a doodle...

Well - until next year - or maybe longer -
and so the month turns and we are now into November

White Rabbits!

And with that -

Tuesday, 31 October 2017

31st October 2017 - Trick or Treat

Thought for the day:"I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so I'm dressing up as a phone battery at 2%"

Seems I am going out hunting for sweeties tonight - wish me luck!!

Halloween Songs - Sandra Dee

Halloween Drink Receptacles - Choose your Poison 

think I will have a  Green One


Monday, 30 October 2017

30th October 2017 - It was a Mondegreen One

Thought for the day:"Just seen literally used incorrectly or gratuitously three times in one minute. I want to figuratively pull my hair out"

As explanation in easy terms ...

Literal vs. Figurative Language

No, you are not literally going to explode from excitement at finally seeing U2 live. You also are not literally dying of laughter while watching Dude, Where’s My Car, in all likelihood. You are figuratively exploding and dying.
Unless you spontaneously combust when Bono takes the stage, literally is not the word you are looking for.

Definition of Literally

When something is literally occurring, that means that it happening exactly as described. Someone who is literally passing out from excitement has their eyes rolling back in their head, and is collapsing to the ground as we speak.
Usually, the intended word is figuratively, which means that whatever is happening is being described metaphorically. Someone who is figuratively on pins and needles with anticipation is really looking forward to something. Someone who is literally on pins and needles is currently experiencing small puncture wounds on their body.

It also means "as written"  or "to the letter" but that is another matter..

But I found a new word today

and so I looked for some examples...

TOM PETTY: “American Girl”
What people sing: “That Wonderbra that she was gonna keep”
The actual lyric: “She had one little promise she was gonna keep”

This is the second single from Petty’s 1977 debut album. Frankly, Tom mumbles so much when he sings that one could be forgiven for misunderstanding him.

QUEEN: “Bohemian Rhapsody”
What people sing: “Scare a moose, scare a moose, will you do my fan Van Gogh?”
The actual lyric: “Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?”

Immortalized by everyone from Wayne & Garth to Mig (from “Rock Star: INXS”), Queen’s 1975 six-minute single is a lesson in rock grandiosity and made-up lyrics (or at least they sound like it). When the band is digging up words like “Scaramouche,” who can blame someone for writing their own lyrics?

BON JOVI: “Livin’ on a Prayer”
What people sing: “It doesn’t make a difference if we’re naked or not”
The actual lyric: “It doesn’t make a difference if we make it or not”

When the song comes from an album called “Slippery When Wet,” you can bet folks misinterpreted this more than a few ways.

JIMI HENDRIX: “Purple Haze”
What people sing: “Excuse me while I kiss this guy”
The actual lyric: “Excuse me while I kiss the sky”

The granddaddy of famous misunderstood songs, this one has been a joke for over 40 years since its 1967 release. Hendrix said the lyrics were inspired by a dream in which he was walking under the sea. Between the crazy dreams and the crazy stuff running through his veins, Jimi himself probably wasn’t sure what he was singing.

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN: “Blinded by the Light”
What people sing: “Wrapped up like a douche, another loner in the night”
The actual lyric: “Cut loose like a deuce, another runner in the night”

Springsteen’s tune from his debut album is full of inside Jersey references and non sequitur silliness. A listener can misinterpret lyrics for days. It’s the ‘76 Manfred Mann’s Earth Band cover that’s responsible for the signature mondegreen on this one.

PEARL JAM: “Even Flow”
What people sing: “Oh, dolphin, he can’t help it when he looks at Santa”
The actual lyric: “Oh, dark grin, he can’t help, when he’s happy looks insane”

I’ll pay anyone ten bucks to tell me half of these lyrics. And tell me what they mean. Pearl Jam’s 1991 single is supposed to be about homelessness. That and dolphins.

BECK: “Loser”
What people sing: “Someone get the door”
The actual lyric: “Soy un perdedor”

Beck only has himself to blame for going bilingual here. No one was ready for that one in 1994. He started a Spanglish craze.

EAGLES: “Hotel California”
What people sing: “Her mind is definitely twisted”
The actual lyric: “Her mind is Tiffany twisted”

I gotta admit it. Before I wrote this blog, I was certain I was singing this Eagles song correctly. In fact, I had to check a few places before I was convinced my version was wrong. You learn something new everyday.

Meanwhile - back in Aylesbury we went a searching for the Gruffalo in Wendover Woods...

Found Him !!

 Cheers !