Friday 15 May 2015

15th May 2015 - On Festivities and driving in Phoenix...

Thought for the day: "So Moat it be he said as he fell off the drawbridge "

So, after many years of collection amongst our lodges, the West Wales Masonic Festival of 2015 culminates today in a big banquet at the Stradey Park Hotel to hand over the cheques and celebrate the end of the Festival. 

So a bun-fight later today in dickie bows and long dresses ...  


After the meal there will be an address by the Provincial Grand Master and the President of The Freemasons’ Grand Charity, when the final total raised by the Province will be announced. The evening will finish with a varied programme of musical entertainment. Well Cor Curiad will be part of that so Susie has to wear black for the meal.

4pm start for the reception and 6pm dining and all finished by 10pm to allow those travelling to get home in time. We shall be just up the road so that is fine...  



 Meanwhile ... from the USA my sister sends me this short instruction manual...

HOW TO DRIVE IN PHOENIX:

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: FEE-NICKS'.
There are other names to learn such as Awatukee (Ah-wa-Too-Kee) but
that will be included in the advanced course.

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 am to noon. The evening rush
hour is from noon to 7:00 pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On Loop
101, your speed is expected to at least match the highway number.
Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its own
version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, East Valley, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms
ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that
can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Phoenix. Detour
barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the
middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more
exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs,
barrels, cones, cows, horses, cats, mattresses, shredded tires,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, vultures, javelinas, roadrunners, and the
coyotes feeding on any of these items.

9. Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the 'I-10' are the same road.
SR202 is the same road as The Red Mountain FWY. Dunlap and Olive are
the same street too. Jefferson becomes Washington, but they are not
the same street. SR 101 is also the Pima FWY except west of I-17,
which is also The Black Canyon FWY, and The Veterans Memorial HWY.
Lastly, Thunderbird Rd. becomes Cactus Rd. but, Cactus Rd. doesn't
become Thunderbird Rd. because it dead ends at a mountain.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
activated.

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

12. For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders (oven gloves) on your hands.

Enjoy 


And so to get ready for the dinner 
Cheers !


 

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